I was a 22 year old woman, working as a member of AmeriCorps that day. My job was an assistant to the elderly, and I didn’t really like it, as it made me very uncomfortable. The man I was caring for that day was bedridden, and spent most of the day sleeping. As I pulled into the driveway of the house where my job was, I heard these words on the radio, “We’ve gotten word that a plane has just hit the World Trade Center in New York City.” I brushed it off, thinking it had to be a joke or some small accident. I went on into the house and prepared to watch television and keep an eye on my patient.
I was watching Little House On The Prarie, and trying to do some schoolwork when something happened that I had never seen before or since. The broadcasting on TBS was interrupted by a news Special Report. Normally, cable channels like TBS don’t have news coverage. My attention was drawn away from my work to a scene of terror unfolding on the television. I believe the first tower had just fallen when the Special Report came on. I sat and watched in complete shock and confusion as the second tower fell, and the reporters told of a hit on the Pentagon. At that time they were still tracking the plane that would eventually crash in Pennsylvania. Eventually the wife of my patient came home, her comment on all that was happening seemed very casual to me, for all she did was exclaim that she was glad I was watching the news too. I got in my car and went on to my next patient, a very sweet elderly woman who let me leave early, telling me I needed to be at home on a day like this.
Many things stick out in my mind about that day, but the strongest is the powerful feeling of aloneness that I had. There I was at a stranger’s house watching the world change forever, and there was no one to help me understand. My family was scattered in different places, my parents at work, my sister and brother in another city. I had to face this immense tragedy on my own. I remember the fear I felt as I drove home. The radio was full of news about the attacks, and I kept looking up at the sky, expecting a plane to come crashing down on me. It was as though my car had a huge target painted on it. I have never been so relieved to get to my house before. I sat on the coffee table and watched the news, waiting for my mother,a school teacher, to come home. When she finally did, I jumped up and gave her the biggest hug. I wasn’t alone anymore.
I remember that she and I went grocery shopping after that, the only normal thing that occurred that day. I found out that one of the kids in her class had a father in Washington DC that day, his mother came and got him out of school, his father was not harmed. I also found out that my grandmother had been going crazy with worry about my uncle, a pilot with American Airlines. She finally got a call through to him after hours of trying, he was at home. He had that day off, which was lucky for him, as he sometimes flew the route from Boston to L.A. (I may have that wrong) that one of the planes used for the attacks was traveling.
It was many weeks before life returned to a semblance of normalcy for me. I was one of the lucky ones who knew no one who had been killed. I was glad I had no children to try to explain all that had happened to. How could I explain to them what I could not understand myself? Any innocence I had left, any belief that America was invincible, and right to take it’s role as the world’s policeman, was shattered that day. My carefree life was forever changed. It took over 3,000 people dying to strip our country of it’s invulnerable shield, to reveal to it’s citizens that their government was not perfect, and that they opened the doors of hate with their decisions.
I still remember September 11, 2001. I will never forget it. But, I refuse to let that memory serve as a platform of support for the misguided belief that we are AMERICA and the world should do what we say. We share this planet with billions of other people. We should work together to heal ourselves and others who suffer as a result of past actions and mistakes. We shouldn’t use the deaths of our fellow citizens to condone rash, foolish decisions that only result in thousands more lives being lost. Let us all work for peace, and remember September 11, 2001 as the day when the world drew together, instead of the day when it split apart.
I honor all those who died that day, and the ones who have given their lives since then. I thank you all for giving the “last full measure of devotion”, and I pray that soon no more will have to give it. Let us all remember the words of Ghandi, “An eye for an eye, and the whole world goes blind.”
